The Next Pitch

So this has been a pretty weird weekend. The elevators are down in my dorm building, so unfortunately I am stuck here in my room all weekend. Well, my dorm room. On Friday, a friend of mine texted me asking me how I get downstairs when the elevators are down. The answer is pretty simple, I don't.

Naturally, my friend was pretty upset. Talking about how that's ridiculous and if it were him he would be really mad. When he said this all I could think about was something like that used to tell me when I was playing baseball. Whenever I got upset that I struck out or that I missed a ground ball he used to ask me "what can you control?" The next pitch.

It's a simple sentiment that means so much more. E3 (error by the first baseman), it happened. The next pitch. Ground ball to Shortstop, Short flips it to Second, Second throws it over to first, First digs it out of the dirt. Double play and we're out of the inning. See, it doesn't matter that I made an error at first because I controlled the next pitch and got us out of the inning.

That's kind of what my life is been like. It's the next pitch. Skin sore that keeps me bedridden. The next pitch. CNA doesn't show. The next pitch. Elevator breaks down. The next pitch.

However, the elevator being down isn't the real issue. The issue is is that the elevator being down didn't heavily impact my life. While yes I can say that I have to study and get as much work done for my midterm tomorrow so it doesn't matter that I can't go out, that's not the whole story. The truth is, that the elevator being down barely impacted my social life as it would another college student.

Even though I'm stuck in my dorm, I'm probably doing the same thing that I would have been doing if the elevator was working. The problem is that I have become complacent and okay with not doing anything. Since I don't have a lot of friends and those I do have are rarely available, I have become okay with sitting in my room by myself doing that.

This is an issue that has stemmed from high school, that I've somehow not figured out how to overcome. I haven't figured out how to go out and do stuff consistently with friends or go out on my own and make friends. So I guess the real reason that I'm writing this is to make myself say it out loud, forcing myself to accepted and make a change. That definitely wasn't my intention when I first started writing this post but I'm glad it happened.

Now I'm not saying that I'm going to fix this as soon as the elevator is fixed. However, I am saying that it's now my goal to fix that this semester.

Holy shit! Who knew this writings that actually be therapeutic or helpful. Anyways! Hope y'all have a good weekend and wish me good luck on my midterm tomorrow!

–♿️

#studying #stuck #elevator #sci #spinalcordinjury #baseball #thenextpitch #acceptance