What Would You Be Doing?

Since I have a snow day I figured I'd write a little bit this morning.

One question people always ask me is, "well what would you be doing if you were walking?" Which is a very fair question. So what would Blood Tyler be doing? I can say with 100% certainty he wouldn't be doing this, this being the whole college thing.

Let me prefaces this by saying I'm very thankful for the opportunity to go to a prestigious university and I fully understand how lucky I am to have this opportunity. Especially because few people have the opportunity to go to college, let alone go to UNC as an out-of-state student. So I'm very grateful for that.

However, school isn't for everyone, especially college, and that is perfectly okay. I am one of those people college isn't for, at least not yet in life. For those of you who know my mother this might not come as a surprise to you. School certainly wasn't her thing in her early years and seeing how I am my mother's son it's not for me either. I just have a little bit more shit to deal with than she did at the time.

I'm not a person who belongs in a classroom taking notes and doing homework assignments each week. I know that few people like this aspect of college but that doesn't mean that they're not build for it or don't strive in the system. It just means they don't like it. They have goals and aspirations that hinge on their success and discipline in school.

That's not the case for me. My goals and aspirations don't require me to be in school at all. What they require is practice, repetition, and being in LA. Yes, school helps you make contacts and forces you to write because it is a part of your curriculum. But no one in the television and movie industry actually checks your for bachelors degree at the door.

However, that's not even the real reason I say wouldn't be in school. I say I wouldn't be in school because school doesn't make me happy. The idea of having a good degree so I can get a good job so I can make good money is of absolutely no interest to me. Would I like to have a lot of money? Sure, who wouldn't? But not at the expense of happiness.

The only reason I want money is so I can use it on those around me and be able to share the experiences that I've been lucky enough to experience because those around me have spent their money on me.

I'd rather be out in the world getting my Julia Roberts on and doing that whole Eat, Pray, Love thing. Working my ass of as bartender or holding a few noncommittal jobs for four to six months at a time until I've saved enough cash to live out of a backpack for a couple months in Spain, Hawaii, or Italy, (probably not Asia. I don't think I could do the food) then return home, work, repeat. That'd be heaven to me.

Unfortunately, I don't get to do that. My injury doesn't afford me such luxury. Can I travel with my injury? Sure. However, I can't hike and camp in the mountains for three days. I can't hop on bus from country to country in Europe on a whim. That's just stuff I can't do and that sucks. There's no sugar coating it. I can't do that. That's something I have to live with.

Another thing I have to live with is my injury and how much it cost to live with it. On average it cost a person with SCI $100k a year to live. Sure, some of that is picked up by Medicaid, private insurance, and SSI but that's what it cost to be in my situation. So if I ever want to be able to experience travel or sharing that joy with others I need to make good money so I can maintain a quality of life and happiness that is difficult to achieve when you struggle with funds and have a spinal cord injury.

Which is why I'm in school. To sit through those classes, take the notes, and pass the test so I can get a $160k piece of paper that says I'm worthy of job that provides a higher income and that sucks monkey nuts. But again, it's the life I live. As the wise Forrest Gump once said, "shit happens."

Knowing all of that I recognize the next question to all of that is "what can I do?" Can I dropout and travel the world tomorrow? No. Can I backpack through Europe this summer? No. Can I graduate UNC by summer of 2017? Absolutely.

Even though I won't like it, it sets me up to apply to graduate schools for screenwriting. Giving me the opportunity to be in LA, Austin, or NYC. Thus providing me with an even greater opportunity to become a screenwriter so I have the potential to make good money doing something I love, which will give me the chance to live the life I want.

So what would I be doing? Not this. But if I have to do it, I'm going to do it in a way that sets me up to do what I'd rather be doing.

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