Rest in Peace Nancy

Unfortunately this weekend I had to attend a funeral. However, something happen that I wasn't expecting. This funeral had a larger impact on me than I was anticipating. Death is always sad. It doesn't matter if you are 115 or four weeks old. It's always sad to lose someone you care about.

Recently, the wife of my dad's old college baseball coach, Nancy Roberts passed away due to complications after an open heart surgery. Bare in mind that I have only met Nancy twice. So when I found out about her death I was upset for the sake of the family but I had yet to figure out how her death effected my as an individual.

The funeral was on Saturday but I thought it was on Friday. On Thursday night I laid in bed unable to sleep. So as I do on most nights I'm unable to, I began to think about what the next day has in store for me. Which led me to think about the first time I met Nancy.

The first time I met Nancy I was 16 years old. We were in Cape Cod for a family vacation and her husband was coaching a college summer league in the Cape. So we all packed up to go watch a good game of summer baseball and meet the people my dad spent four years of his life surrounded by.

Sitting at dinner, Nancy told my little brother and I about the first time she ever met my dad. She said he walked up to her before any other player and introduced himself. However, his introduction wasn't just an ingrained social obligation. There was an arrogance and confidence behind it. It made her laugh. This 18-year-old boy walked straight up to his new coach's wife as if he were already a veteran on the team and that she wanted to meet him.

We spent the rest of the dinner sharing old stories and catching up on everything we had a ever done. She wanted to know Thomas and eyes life story from the beginning. She took to us as if we were grandkids she had never met. After dinner we parted ways, making the usual promises of future plans and saying clichés like "let's do this again."

I wouldn't see Nancy until a couple of months later. In fact, the next time I would see her would be in Atlanta. Both her and husband had come down to visit me. However, I didn't realize this at first. Reflecting on it, I figured they were passing through on their way back to North Carolina and figured they were coming to see my dad and also me.

It didn't occur to me that they would be coming to see me. We had only met one time and that time was mostly spent around me listening to stories from the glory days. I have no way of knowing that me or my story had made enough of an impression on them to take the time to fly out for a three-day weekend to come see me. As a general rule I don't think I'm all that important.

However, while thinking about all of that on Thursday night I realized how truly special of a person she was. The first time she met me she treated me like an adult. Didn't push me to the side or do the usual things adults do while sitting at a table with a 16-year-old and a 14-year-old. She treated my brother and I as equals and engaged us. Just that she didn't 30 years ago to an arrogant pitcher out of a small town in Colorado.

Then three months later her and her husband flew to Atlanta to learn about my new world, talk about the glory days, and watch football. Again she treated me as an equal, not as a 17-year-old cripple who needed coddling or to hear the word of God. Just an average kid.

On Saturday, I went to her funeral to pay her my respects. To give her the same respect she gave to me four years ago. The entire time trying to muster up the courage to say what I'm writing today if people were given the chance to speak about her.

While I wasn't able to speak at her funeral, I was lucky enough to hear a couple people speak about their experiences with Nancy. What was exciting to learn that is I wasn't the only person Nancy treated this way. She showed everyone that she met a great deal respect.

Now I'm not the most religious person in the world but I respect those who are. Especially those like Nancy, who are truly Christ like. Those who work to help others around them as Jesus did. Despite most likely having differing beliefs in afterlife, I truly hope Nancy is in whatever afterlife she believes in because no one would deserve it more.

Finally, a note to Nancy.

I'm sorry our time together was not well spent. I know everything you've been dealing with during my brief time in North Carolina has been severe. However, had I known all the struggles you were facing I would have made a much greater effort to come see you, as you did for me when my life was in turmoil.

I just assumed that we didn't see each other because lives get busy and people don't communicate as well as they should. If anything, you have taught me to take time for to be with others and to show them you care about them. I only wish I had known this sooner so I could be telling it to you, instead of writing it to you.

I will keep your family in my heart and in my thoughts.

– ♿️

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